New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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