There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
