Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
