I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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