actually, I'm a sock model
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize