she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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