White coat. Heels.
If that was your dad, he is hot
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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