I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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