I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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