I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I need help removing her.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
