I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
And then my night got REAL pukey
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
