She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
