i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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