We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize