I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
