Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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