As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
