both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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