how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
