Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize