So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
