Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
