I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
