We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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