You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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