all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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