I'm drive I can fine osifer
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Randomize
