hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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