My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
