The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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