so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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