I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
you made out with another girl for some wings
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
