My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize