Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
