Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
