I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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