Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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