Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
