My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
