If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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