the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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