you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
