come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
