Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize