Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
