I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
