obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
