I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
