conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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