I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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