Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize