What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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