haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
