They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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