Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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