Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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