I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
