So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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