i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
