he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
