i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
